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Naught says "Merry Christmas" like having an baby glow out of his tum.

"Even if I modify, it feels similar dying. Everything I am dies. Some new human being goes sauntering away, and I'thousand dead." – The Doc, "The End of Time", Doctor Who. Non quite what happens here, but close enough.

Airdate: December 1st, 2016

Written By: Lamar Abrams and Katie Mitroff.

Plot: As the snow falls down on Embankment Urban center, Greg hangs with Steven and the Crystal Gems. As they wait for some water to boil for tea, Greg is reminded of an old story – Steven'south very first major snowstorm.

Information technology was fourteen years prior, and Steven had but been born. Greg is staying at Vidalia'due south place while she's on vacation, and is emotionally taxed due to everything going on. Up to and including losing his dearest. The Crystal Gems, themselves less than pleased due to contempo events, cease by to give Steven some rather less than age-advisable gifts. This improptu get-together ends with them taking Steven to attempt and become Rose back.

Review:

It's CHRISTMAS!

Actually, no, information technology'south August, and…

…you lot know what? This is 2020. The rulebook is a drink coaster at present. This year has been so astonishingly baroque that fifty-fifty the facade of fast-forwarding to the end has some merit. Screw it, let's put up the stockings and celebrate Summertime Christmas this year! Not the first time I've done then, anyway.

Ah, aye, the Christmas Special (or "Vacation Special" if you adopt). Some of the well-nigh cherished television events in American pop culture. Even some of those that accept aged yet maintain some charm. (I actually kinda like Rudolph, as undeniably 60s as it was in many aspects of its writing.) And the rock-cold classics? My god, "A Charlie Chocolate-brown Christmas" – the grandfather of them all – launched the Peanuts franchise into the stratosphere on the sheer effectiveness and brilliance of that episode alone.

It'due south rare to find a testify that hasn't had one of these in one way or another, accordingly. The Simpsons literally had its first episode as a Christmas special, albeit more than out of necessity (they sent the first episode produced back to clean information technology up) than anything else. The West Wing tore into the hearts of its fans (I dare you not to cry during "Noel" and "In Excelsis Deo"), and the same applies to Doctor Who. Even Phineas and Ferb – a show literally set during summer – got in a couple of festive outings, thankfully far more cheerful. ("Some people call it wummer.")

And thus we come to Steven Universe. They sort of dabbled in the winter spirit with "Winter Forecast", but that did more to put in the temper of winter rather than serve as a Christmas episode. At that place was also "Maximum Capacity", simply that had New Year's Eve as a particular flashpoint more than anything. This, I would argue, is the offset proper Steven Universe Christmas Special.

To add to the allure, it's told in a flashback style!

Enter "Three Gems and a Infant"

This isn't the terminal Steven Universe flashback episode, but it is the concluding of the Greg/Rose Flashback Tetralogy. Nosotros've had "Story for Steven" prepare upwards the relationship between the duo, how their paths crossed and how they collection each other onto different directions into life to exist together, such as the stars aligned. "We Need to Talk", ane of my favorite episodes of the series, and so decided to deconstruct and rebuild the partnership in curt order, particularly on Rose's end by bringing into question her attitudes towards humanity in the face of dating the one man who would stick past her side. And "Greg the Bodyguard" fleshed out Rose's personal philosophy and how information technology melds well with Greg's own personality.

And now she's dead. Only in time for the Steven Universe Holiday Special. Eat your heart out, British soaps, this show has the season tainted pre-emptively.

As well, yeah, I said "Holiday Special". As I mentioned in the final review, the holidays that we celebrate don't really be in the SU Universe. A office of me would've wanted the show's writers to make upwardly a generic holiday for worldbuilding purposes. Nonetheless, information technology probably doesn't exist because a) Jewel Civilization is besides stern for festive holidays, and ii) the most famous example of a sci-fi franchise making up a holiday includes a Wookie celebrating Life Twenty-four hours past watching a highly suggestive VR recording of Diahann Carroll, and so sci-fi writers have to alive down that on tiptop of everything.

In short, Happy Winter, Greg is a single parent. And he's reminiscing virtually this in front of the rest of the Crystal Gems, certainly a bit of a bounding main change. Snow is coming down, the fire is raging, and Greg is given a guitar. A story? That was written in the stars.

Surprise, nosotros get 1, and it once once again starts with a vocal!

I could never be, I could never be
I could never be ready for this
I could never be, I could never be
I could never be ready
Things start and things stop
And isn't information technology lovely in theory
But I could never be, I could never be
I could never be ready…

I'll admit that this is probably 1 of the "weaker" songs in the SU canon. Not that it's bad – it'due south withal pretty damn good – but it's relative brevity and somewhat simple lyrical construction feel like a bit of a step down in quality. And just a few episodes out from the glorious synth-soul that was "Hither Comes A Thought"? The difference is even more than poignant. It'south slap-up, I'm just non the biggest fan.

Withal, I however can play "devil's advocate" here. This vocal, it'southward implied, was written around the time most of this episode is set. This dude lost the dear of his life, is raising their son, living in a van, lucky to have Vidalia'due south place to crash in during a biting winter storm, and even Vidalia has recently plant the dearest of her life. Besides that… it's winter. Personally, I feel like the winter months absolutely fry my energy – the lack of sunlight, the cold conditions, they combine to sap my stamina. (Some actually have a condition called Seasonal Affective Disorder, depression that spikes during a certain period of the year, more often than not the wintertime months.) This is a vocal written by a human that is spiritually spent. The arguable everyman betoken in his life. And it's easy to romanticize those who create media in the depths of despair (to exist fair, "Love Will Tear Us Autonomously" is 1 of my favorite songs, and it is absolutely haunting considering what happened to Ian Curtis), but such a position can obscure the struggles of those holding the pen.

Hence why the song feels and so elementary. Greg has taken it on the chin. The cycle of life has bitten him in an agonizing mode.

Oh, and it's also messed around with the Crystal Gems, three wise aliens who come bearing gifts. Given Gem lifespans, they might besides take held Steven's celebration at a funeral abode. A cheerful celebration, this is non. Pearl, in particular, sounds like she wants to go out of at that place, take Steven with her, and never lay a single centre on Greg ever once again. At best. Not once in their initial meeting practice they make middle contact – an disturbing reminder of the divide. Deedee Magno-Hall'southward performance here adds a twist of the knife… if "Rose'southward Scabbard" had her perfect despair and cocky-loathing, this is her fusing the former with disgust and nailing it in a very quiet way. But, hey, she at least got the child a dictionary, plainly to help him communicate, but it does serve as a fine reflection on her intellectual personality and, in spite of somewhat missing the indicate, the attempts at a practical nature of what would be her ain guardianship. Fifty-fifty in grief-fueled disgust, she's a remarkably fascinating grapheme.

Amethyst, in dissimilarity, is rather chipper with regards to this start coming together. Balancing that out, she is withal getting used to the fact that this new human is non "niggling Rose" and doesn't take the same mastery of his power suite as Rose did. Hence why she got him a box of developed diapers. Not a whole lot of symbolism there exterior of the obvious disconnect. (She does, however, suit quickly to the new name.) Garnet is… well, probably the best of the group, only fifty-fifty she hasn't quite gotten the nature of human maturity yet – kid got a shaving razor, so at least she was thinking ahead of the curve. (Razors aren't exactly cheap.)

It turns out, ultimately, that the thing that Steven desires most? Greg's keys. Babies don't often have a sense of object permanence, and so keys? Like shooting fish in a barrel entertainment. Judge what – his gem glows, apparently his first instance thereof. Call back back in the before time, in "Gem Glow", nosotros were trying to figure out what the hell the titular event fifty-fifty meant and why it was able to spit out a TV-destroying shield that one time? Imagine that in the show's catechism. Ergo… this.

So, the second tertiary of this episode is basically one-half mystery, half dramatic irony. The Crystal Gems are convinced that Rose Quartz is trapped in a baby. It does make me wonder… how isolated were the Crystal Gems from humanity? From social club? Practise they not know how full general mammalian biology works, or don't give a damn? And if they were this isolated, how the hell did they manage to brand beginning contact with humanity and therefore live in peace with them? This could create a bit of a loophole in the show's earth-edifice. I'1000 generally forgiving with this show because the characters are and so damn fascinating, but I couldn't let this particular nitpick go past me this time around.

Of course, one could counter-fence that the Crystal Gems are so grief-stricken by Rose'south death that they have allow their knowledge of humanity lapse in a fit of desperation. Even the almost rational argument – Steven being a "fusion" – is still based in this idea that there is a take chances for Rose to come back, and it's an argument based in her historical perspective. I mean, Rose was the i that supported cantankerous-Gem fusion for Garnet, and so maybe Garnet is thinking that Rose took said acceptance to the most logical farthermost, to endeavour and experience life from moment ane.

There is one solution to this… the Crystal Gems kidnap Steven! Nothing says "Driving Dwelling For Christmas" like three aliens committing a major felony. Oh, they steal Greg'southward van, too. What'due south that, grand theft motorcar, plus possible robbery of all of Greg'due south stuff? Hope y'all like Nutraloaf, guys, because yous're gonna be enjoying information technology for a while. Anyway, their reason for the kidnapping is because they think Greg is out of his depth. This time around, they're incorrect.

The trio simply do not get it. Their grief has mixed with their biases to create three divergent takes on the scenario, all wrong… however strangely, all fitting the archetypes that they agree in the present day. Amethyst thinks Steven can shift dorsum into Rose, and all she does is manage to amuse the kid. You know, like a big sister would. Hence Steven'southward very close human relationship with Amethyst at the get-go of the series.

Garnet, meanwhile, tells Steven – equally if she's talking to Rose – that information technology is alright to "take a niggling interruption" from "fusion" with Greg. Which, upon reflection, is a rather interesting and somewhat ironic take. I mean, this is coming from Garnet, a Precious stone who with a few cursory exceptions has been "together" for thousands of years and who candidly rejects any suggestion that she unfuse (deservedly, mind you, given that said requests were not washed in good organized religion). Alternately, though, it could stand for a subconscious platonic, one where Red and Sapphire believe that gems can fuse and unfuse at their own discretion even if they don't believe that doing and so would be beneficial for them. Season 5 is going to explore this, but the point is that it fits the part that Garnet fills every bit a squad mentor, to try and guide the Crystal Gems via leadership. Unfortunately, Steven is distressed because, estimate what, babies don't have object permanence. It's every bit if a parent walked out on his life… except said parent merely went to catch milk from the refrigerator, or checked the Arsenal result on their plugged-in telephone, or in this case, divide into two lesbians.

Besides, this is probably the moment that puts to bed the theory that Steven is a regenerated Rose. This kid doesn't know either Ruby or Sapphire, cries when Garnet unfuses into her components… yeah, she ain't effectually anymore. Steven might have Rose'due south power suite, but otherwise, he is a bare slate. The fact that Flavor 5 felt it necessary to address this concept all but confirms that, hey, former theories die hard.

In brusk, Amethyst and Garnet notwithstanding haven't quite gotten the concept of Steven beingness, well, Steven. Denial is nevertheless perpetual between those two. Who else is in the van, who tin can finally go some sense into our group of clowns?

…oh, smeg, it's Pearl. This tin can't end well, especially given that she drives the van off the road. In a blizzard. With Greg still quite a way out from his van. Even if you know how this ends, what path is this going to take?

Well, does a good sometime theft of one'south gem outside of the child's abdomen sound similar a fun path to whatsoever of you?

No, I'thou non kidding. Pearl has gone to the largest farthermost, that Rose's gem is encased in this homo baby, and that to allow it to regenerate, said gemstone must exist removed from said human vessel in social club for Rose to come back. Precious stone removed, Rose returns, the Crystal Gems can party and everything can be hunky-dory.

"I know you're in there. I can let you out! Nosotros tin be together again…"

These are the words of an emotional trainwreck who just wants one more chance. Forget expiry – she still hasn't gotten over Rose falling in honey with Greg. Ane judgement, ii meanings – one profoundly selfish, the other seemingly selfless yet deeply tragic.

She reaches for the Gem… and Steven giggles.

And let's just admit something right at present – Pearl is pretty much Steven'southward mother figure. Through the show, faults and all, she has moved heaven and Earth to simultaneously protect and intellectually train Steven. This is a Gem that, while initially reluctant to tell the kid about her tragic past, tin regale him with war stories with a gusto unmatched in the series. No disrespect to Garnet, Greg, or Amethyst, they all did damn practiced jobs. Simply she has done more than to raise Steven, arguably, than anybody else has. This hill, I will die on.

And that giggle is probably when information technology all started. Because she retrenches her hand. "I can't! She wanted this so much; I just don't understand why. 'Everything should grow, and everything should modify, and isn't it so bully how it comes and so naturally to humans?' Well, information technology's not natural for usa! It's not natural… for me."

When yous remember about it, this is probably the most dramatic change in Pearl'south life for many, many years. Flavor 5 will reveal, without spoiling anything also much, that Rose has been the largest abiding in Pearl's existence. Ruby and Sapphire knew of lives earlier Garnet, less than fulfilling lives, only lives still. Amethyst had that catamenia in the Kindergarten before she became ane of the Crystal Gems. Pearl? Rose was what she knew… and she'south gone. Because Rose felt like she couldn't modify enough, she gave somebody else the chance to excel where she couldn't.

And it's rather tragic that Pearl says that change doesn't come naturally for her. While the pressure of external events did have an bear upon, Pearl has evolved and grown in terms of personality over the past few seasons. From an anti-human overprotective neurotic, Pearl has become a more rounded, loose, and accepting character, more open up to exploring the Earth that she so vehemently protects. And the fact that she has sold herself short at this moment is rather jarring. What nosotros see is not what the characters run across… and considering this show has such a proficient pulse on characterization, information technology comes off as very realistic.

Very homo.

Like Steven is.

Rose is gone. The world that the Crystal Gems congenital around her is, when you lot recall about information technology, no longer. Information technology'southward now Steven's universe. I do not apologize for that awful pun. Because it is truthful – one age has ended, another one dawns. And just in time, as Greg catches up to the van and prepares to chew them out… or does he? I mean, I'd exist pretty miffed if I had a baby and I came dorsum to find that my partner's three shut friends decided to steal them. Especially if I found out that one of them about did bodily harm in the attempt to ameliorate their life in one fashion or another. Greg, though, is a much more than forgiving figure, and decides to include the Crystal Gems in their unique family system. Because, hey, parenthood is a rather messed up journeying with no clear path. They're winging information technology big time.

All's well that ends well, I guess. 1 could fence that information technology's rather keen and clean given the various crimes that the Crystal Gems partook in, merely really, where's the Christmas spirit in lingering on that? It'south not a British Soap Opera nosotros're talking about here. Also, I've seen television characters get away with far more odious and selfish deportment (how the hell did "Co-Dependents Mean solar day" e'er get canonical), and at least the Crystal Gems… sort of almost meant well?

Yous know what? They did. They're still sympathetic characters, and everybody's laughing at this misunderstanding.

"Three Gems and a Baby" is fine. Pretty good, in fact. It serves as a nice coda to the Ballad of Rose and Greg (which forms a full hour if yous watch the four episodes back to back), reminds us of where the Crystal Gems started, and fifty-fifty delivers a bloodshot, yet still optimistic, message well-nigh looking towards the futurity. It's certainly not my favorite Christmas characteristic (that would probably get to "Simpsons Roasting on an Open up Burn", A Christmas Story, or "In Excelsis Deo"), but you could practise a hell of a lot worse. Same with the pantheon of Steven Universe episodes – this is solidly midtable. If yous're showing somebody this episode as a one-off exposure to the franchise, you won't have too much trouble.

Tidbits:

  • It's worth noting that "I Could Never Be Prepare" was actually written when Rebecca Saccharide got word that Drawing Network had no plans to renew Steven Universe after Season five. Hence the song, a reflection on the credible suddenness of the prove'south demise… and how the show was meant to take an endpoint. Given animation atomic number 82 time and the fact that the evidence was plainly marked for death in 2016, information technology's almost certain that the writers surgically threw this scene in during the middle of product. And hey, it works! Thankfully, the show got a movie and an epilogue to shore things upwardly.
  • I smirked thanks to Pearl's lexicon – Webby'southward Dictionary. Yep, information technology's meant to be a pun. But my mind went direct to the DuckTales reboot that launched months after – more specifically, its re-imagining of Webby Vanderquack as the McDuck historian-in-waiting. She's a fairly intellectual character in her own correct, and ane of my favorites in that particular show. I don't recall it was meant as foreshadowing or a shout-out to the original series, this was just what I drew from that stupid pun.
  • Quite a bit has been made from the various biblical parallels within this episode. I hateful, we're dealing with 3 figures bearing gifts to a half-homo kid, and spending quite a bit of time in a rather peculiar setting due to unfortunate circumstances. Later, the child is known for his wise and pacifistic ways every bit he grows up. Much has been written on that, so I'thousand not going to elaborate.
    • What I plant more than fascinating is i particular, arguably destructive and (maybe) controversial, twist. According to scripture, Jesus was the production of an immaculate conception, where Mary carried the child without having laid with Joseph. In the concluding episode of Steven Universe, we learned that our hero was born out of wedlock, considered by certain sects to exist less than platonic if not an deed of sin. Given the socially liberal views of Steven Universe, I don't retrieve this was a complete accident.
  • Note that the episode'due south timing was based around Pearl putting some water on a stove-top kettle, and taking it off at boiling bespeak at the very end of the episode. Information technology'southward honestly been a while since I've boiled h2o on a stove for tea – I apply an electric kettle, which boils a liter of water in about four or five minutes – but information technology did feel like it took longer to bring water to a boil on the stove. If anybody has any anecdotes, that would be helpful.

Wrap-Up :

Favorite Scene: Our three wise Gems trying their all-time to endeavour and become Rose back from her Adventures in Babyhood… only to miss the indicate of Steven's being.

Best Grapheme: I tin can't pick 1. In the spirit of the season, I'm calling it a five-style tie.

Memorable Quote: "She wanted this and then much; I just don't understand why. 'Everything should abound, and everything should alter, and isn't it so nifty how it comes so naturally to humans?' Well, information technology's not natural for the states! It'southward not natural… for me."Oh, Pearl…

Verdict : Silver. Outside of the festive aureola, this episode was more than "fine" rather than vivid. Just hey, fine past SU standards is still pretty damn skillful! And this episode is good plenty to land in the rankings at #57, right backside "Bubble Buddies" and ahead of "Beach Urban center Migrate".

So, that's our stride into Christmas for the summertime. I promise you all enjoyed… or at least, I thank you for humoring me. Proficient day, merry whatever yous gloat when you celebrate it, and I'm going to end proceedings today with a song that's non really a Christmas song… only at that place is imagery related to the nativity. That work? I hope then. If not, maybe I'll do something when Christmas rolls around later this year.